Episode 2

The RMS Queen Mary’s Ghosts

Transcript

Welcome to Attic Whisper.

It is common knowledge in the podcast community, I am told, that the first few episodes should not be aired. The learning curve is steep and it is best to make those mistakes in private. This is sound advice. That I didn’t take. So if you are still listening, I appreciate your patience. 

Nothing happens in a vacuum, so before I talk about her ghosts, first I want to talk about the Queen Mary.

The RMS Queen Mary began her life as Hull Number 534. The John Brown and company began working on her for the Cunard shipping line, along with a sister ship, the RMS Queen Elizabeth. Construction was halted within a year, however, due to the Great Depression. For over two years the rusting skeleton of the abandoned ship dominated the Glasgow skyline. When Cunard applied to the British Government for a loan, they were given enough money to complete both ships with the condition of merging with the rival White Star Line. Merger achieved, work resumed and she was launched in September 1934. It took three and a half years to finish her, and her Art Deco interiors were designed and built by the Bromsgrove Guild of Applied Arts. It was one of the fastest and most elegant ships of the era.

With accomodations from the luxurious first class staterooms to cramped third class cabins, the Queen Mary boasted two indoor swimming pools, beauty salons, three nurseries, music studio and lecture hall, dog kennels, and many other amenities. Dominating the first class dining room was Max Gill’s gigantic map of the North Atlantic with a miniature motorized model of the Queen Mary marking her position along the route. The RMS Queen Mary’s construction was used to generate jobs and boost the recovery from the Great Depression. In her heyday, she was a symbol of Britain’s International prestige.

And then the war devoured the world.

In 1940, the Queen Mary left New York for Sydney, Australia, to be converted into a troopship. Carpet, tapestries, paintings, china and silver were all stored in warehouses. The woodwork was covered in leather. Elegant staterooms for idle passengers became crowded bunks for soldiers going to war, who had to take turns to sleep.

The ship’s hull, superstructure and funnels were all painted navy grey for camouflage, and a degaussing coil was installed to protect her from magnetic mines. Because of her color and speed, she was nicknamed The Grey Ghost. Throughout the war, she transported as many as 15,000 men in a single voyage, often travelling out of convoy and unescorted, at high speed and in a zig-zagging course, avoiding u-boats across the ocean. It is said that a high bounty was placed on her by Hitler himself.

With war, there comes tragedy. The Queen Mary was built to cross the North Atlantic, with very few air conditioned areas, and inadequate ventilation for the hotter climates she traversed during the war. Soldiers died from heat exhaustion, although the exact number is lost due to war records being.. more mysterious than the ghosts of the Queen Mary.

In October 1942, the HMS Curacoa, a light cruiser of World War I vintage, had been sent to meet and escort the RMS Queen Mary who was in a zig zag trajectory. A contradicting assumption on right of way and a lot of human error led to unthinkable tragedy. The Queen Mary struck the Curacoa a glancing blow at an acute angle about 11 feet from her stern, which spun the smaller vessel around 90 degrees and left her vulnerable for a second, more devastating collision. The Queen Mary sliced through the Curacoa’s hull like a knife though butter, cutting the unfortunate cruiser in two amid the sounds of escaping steam and tearing metal. The Curacoa’s stern momentarily half capsized, its propellers spinning in the empty air, before finally disappearing beneath the waves. The front half, consumed in flames, floated a moment or two longer before going under.

Within seconds, the sea was a thick, viscous mass of oil slicks and screaming, half-dazed survivors. The Queen Mary sailed on without stopping, with a damaged bow. Those were the standing orders. She radioed the destroyers of her convoy, about 7 nautical miles away, to report the collision, and they returned to pick up survivors. Only 101 sailors out of a complement of 429 officers and men lived to tell the tale. 

In December of that year, the RMS Queen Mary left New York with over 10,000 American troops heading for Gourock, Scotland, 3,000 miles across the stormy Atlantic. She was carrying seven times the normal number of passengers along with weapons, ammunition, and other equipment, most of it above the waterline. That made her top heavy, and her stability problems only got worse as the voyage went on, because the oil she consumed came from fuel tanks located below the waterline. By the fourth day of the five day journey, the Queen Mary pitched and rolled in foul weather, high winds and huge waves. The next day the howling winds reached hurricane strength.  As far as the eye could see, the Queen Mary was surrounded by an angry ocean with white frothing peaks and deep dark valleys. 

About 700 miles from Scotland, the Queen Mary suddenly fell into an almost bottomless pit.  She was then broadsided on her port side by a monstrous wave crest that was at least twice as high as any wave she had encountered.  This mountain of water shattered windows on the bridge, 95 feet above the waterline.  It tore away all the lifeboats on the port side of the top deck.  It broke through portholes, sending water rushing into hundreds of cabins.  But most seriously, the weight of this stupendous wave, many thousands of tons of water, slowly rolled the Queen Mary over farther than she had ever rolled over before.  The lifeboats on the starboard side swung down with the ship and almost touched the sea.  Soldiers on the lower decks of the starboard side looked out of their portholes and saw dark seawater.  Many were thrown out of their bunks and broke arms and legs or suffered concussions.

Soldiers slid out doorways riding torrents of water from broken portholes.  Many soldiers threw on life preservers, convinced the ship had been torpedoed.  When Mary had listed over on its side farther than any ship’s crew had ever experienced before, and when she seemed to stay there for an eternity, those seamen figured that the ship would never right itself again.  In fact, according to later calculations, if the Queen Mary had listed over only three more degrees, she would have capsized. Tragedy was apparently avoided only due to the exceptional seamanship on the part of her bridge officers with a quick turn of her helm so that her bow was brought dead on to this exceptional wave. Interesting fact, this incident was inspiration for Paul Gallico’s book, The Poseidon Adventure.

After the end of the war in 1945, the RMS Queen Mary did 13 War Brides trips, reuniting families formed, and separated by war. These trips were full of women, some with their children, who left their countries and everything they knew behind, in the hopes of forming a new family and life with their loved ones in a new land.

From September 1946 to July 1947, The Queen Mary was refitted for passenger service, with air conditioning and other updates added. Returned to her former splendor, and along with the RMS Queen Elizabeth, she dominated the transatlantic passenger trade with a two ship weekly express service well into the 1950’s.

In 1958 the first transatlantic flight by a jet aircraft began a completely new era of competition for the Cunard Queens. Well, competition might be the wrong word, since by 1965 the entire Cunard line was operating at a loss. In order to save the company, the Queen Mary and the Queen Elizabeth were retired from service and sold. Of the 18 bids for the Queen Mary, Cunard selected the city of Long Beach’s offer of 3.45 million. The city manager at the time, John R. Mansell, called it “the greatest single catalyst for progress in the history of the city.”

Cunard offered to deliver the Queen Mary, empty of passengers, free of charge, but that was too anticlimactic for her new owners. Bypassing the cruise line, who repeatedly assured them that she was not built for tropical travel, they hired New York-based Fugazy Travel Bureau, which sold out tickets to the 39-day adventure in a matter of weeks. Prices varied from $1,200 and $9,000 per person.

The warnings had not been exaggerated. During her journey, the Queen Mary encountered temperatures of 90 degrees fahrenheit, and the bowels of the ship were so hot, Chef Lock Horsborough died of cerebral hemorrhage caused by heat stroke. Still, she persevered and arrived at her final destination on December 9, 1967.

Once in Long Beach, she was dubbed a building. Everything below C deck was removed, except for the aft engine room and “shaft alley”, at the stern of the ship. Fuel tanks were filled with local mud to provide stability. The rest would be storage and office space.

With first and second class cabin converted into hotel rooms, the main lounges and dining rooms were now banquet spaces. On Promenade Deck, the starboard promenade was enclosed to feature an upscale restaurant and café named Lord Nelson’s and Lady Hamilton’s; it was themed in the fashion of early-19th century sailing ships. The famed and elegant Observation Bar was redecorated as a western-themed bar. The smaller first-class public rooms, such as the Drawing Room, Library, Lecture Room and the Music Studio, would be stripped of most of their fittings and converted to commercial use, to go with the two more shopping malls that were built on the Sun Deck. And this was all before Disney got involved.

It is hard to say exactly what came first, The Queen Mary’s reputation as a haunted location, or “Port Disney’s Haunted Passages Tour”. Haunted Mansion style effects were installed in room B340, with creaking floors, disembodied voices, haunted faucets and trick mirrors. The locations of grisly murders and tragic drownings were thoroughly explored and exploited (although not substantiated). The tour was promoted with a translucent image of John Pedder standing in the boiler room. 

I would like to take a moment and talk about John Pedder. He was an 18 year old man from Skipton, North Yorkshire. He had joined the crew a few months earlier and was engaged in bilge pumping duties when he was crushed by a watertight door at around 3:45 am. There were no witnesses, but he was found shortly after the incident. The distressed crew tried to help him, but he was gone. I have heard stories that claim he was playing at how many times he could cross the door before it closed. While nobody knows what happened, I doubt jumping alone back and forth through a door to see if he’ll make it is something an eighteen year old does for fun at 3:45 in the morning! He was a young man in 1966. He is survived by two sisters that have, from the start, requested that their brother’s death not be treated like a peepshow to be exploited for profit. Their extremely reasonable request has fallen on deaf ears for decades.

So, who are the ghosts of the Queen Mary? The most famous, I think, is Jackie, a little girl that drowned in the thirties. Except there is no record of her existence, or death. A young woman named Dana that was murdered, along with her family, in room B474, Except that never happened. John Henry, who worked and died in the boiler room, but he is not in the records either. So, what is happening?

The most famous death aboard the famed ship is quite a story. It was in the later part of September 1949 as the ship steamed towards New York. Senior Second Officer William Stark was coming off duty and popped into the deck officers’ wardroom to relax a bit and have a drink.

He settled in and told the steward that he wanted some gin and lime juice. The other man – not the officers’ usual steward – went back to the pantry and complied. Unfamiliar with the setup, however, he didn’t know that the unmarked gin bottle he pulled was actually filled with tetrachloride: used for cleaning rags and the like.

The steward returned and gave Second Officer Stark his drink. Unfortunately, Stark’s cold prevented him from smelling tetrachloride’s distinct “sweetness.” He threw it back and knew right away that something was not right. Stark didn’t think the situation was too serious and is said to have laughed about it to his colleagues; chances are that he never knew what he had drunk.

His condition grew worse as the hours dragged on, however, and he died a few days later on September 22, 1949.

Yet his name does not appear in the top of the ghost lists. Besides the apparition in Watertight Door 13, which I am not convinced is Mr. Pedder, most of the Queen Mary’s famous ghosts have no earthly record. Oh, the most haunted room? The one you can book at a high price and a ghost hunting kit is provided with your key? Room B340. The room Disney left locked, for years, while legends grew around it.

See, people have forgotten that this was a Disney attraction. Disney wrote the horrific scripts, set the stage, hired the actors, and installed the special effects. And then left. But the stories remained, and they were spread by everyone that expected the spooky shadows and unexplained noises. After a while, you don’t need the recordings, you start hearing things on your own. Ghost stories grow the more you feed them, become palpable, solid. 

It turns out, when you think something is haunted for long enough, it can actually start showing signs of a haunting.

The most chilling report is of someone who had snuck, after hours, to explore the lower decks without a tour. Having gotten a bit lost in the dark, he was suddenly surrounded by sound. Screams, tearing metal, multiple collisions, a barrage of sound that had him running the opposite direction. The next day, after a very short sleep, he joined the official tour, and learned of the tragedy of the Curacoa, and the memory of the previous night gave his skeptic mind a lot to think about.

There are the usual sightings of a Captain in full uniform, either aloof or staring disconcertingly. A playful woman in a fashionably vintage suit leaving wet tracks from a long dry pool. The little playful girl who giggles and pulls covers. A lady in a white ballgown enjoying an evening at the bar. A young man in overalls flirting with passersby. The growling grumpy man under the stairs.

With haunted tours and seances still occurring on a regular basis, there is a lot of expectation and emotion trapped. This gives birth to illusions, stories, hauntings, and perhaps an egregore or two. Greg Newkirk explains that an “egregore,” is a thought form created by “decades of emotions pumped into a specific place or thing.” Oh, that reminds me, maybe I should do an episode on Santa Claus in a few months!

So, who are the Ghosts of the Queen Mary? Disney? The thousands of people that have toured her? Or, maybe..us? Either way, if you see the Captain staring at you on the elevator, the lady in white enjoying a drink at the bar, or perhaps a young woman in a vintage swimsuit splashing in an empty pool, stop for a second, and see if you can hear Bob Hope singing, or catch a glimpse of Greta Garbo. Personally, the ghost I would love to see most of all, is the RMS Queen Mary herself, in her full glory.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Attic Whisper. Information for this episode was gathered from many knowledgeable and enthralling sources, including:

“The Power of the Sea” is a book by Bruce Parker. It tells the story of our struggle to predict when the sea will unleash its power against us. It interweaves thrilling stories of unpredicted natural disasters with stories of scientific discoveries.

Warfare History Network provided the chilling details of the HMS Curacoa Tragedy.

Greg and Dana Newkirk are preeminent researchers of the supernatural who run the Traveling Museum of the Paranormal & Occult. You might recognize them from Hellier. If you don’t, it’s because you haven’t seen Hellier and now I’m judging you. 

Lastly, this podcast would not be possible without the support and encouragement from my partners, Erin and Paul. To listen to their own creative endeavors, please visit OpenBetaMusic.com or follow Open Beta Music on Facebook. If you like Celtic, folk, and geeky music, this is a band you will certainly enjoy.

The music in this episode was composed by Juan Sanchez, provided by Breaking Copyright. Please check the episode notes for the creative commons license.

Transcripts for this and all episodes can be found at atticwhisper.com. Links to the books, podcasts, and videos mentioned will be included in the episode notes.

You can reach me for questions, comments or suggestions on Instagram as @atticwhisper. I appreciate your patience, I am still getting used to communicating with people outside the Attic.

Sound Engineering by Paul Schmidt. Website Assistance by Erin Lewis.

Thank you for listening.

Episode 1

The Attic

Transcript

I mentioned in my last episode I would talk about The Queen Mary, and at most waved from afar at the topic. So, next time I will talk in depth about her, her history, and her ghosts. Today, we are in the attic.

You might ask why the Attic? Well, the attic is a frequent habitat of jackdaws …and stories. It is where people store holiday decorations, old yearbooks, costume trunks and family heirlooms that have no use in everyday life. Almost all those items come with a story, and some, with time, change into a story of their own. They might grow wings and fly away in a puff of faery dust, or grow claws and fangs and roam inside the walls. But this is not their story, this episode is about the liminal place that gives those stories, and many others, room to spawn.

The attic started as a small decoration in Roman times, and by the Renaissance it had grown to be an important part of facades, enclosing a whole other floor, of which the windows were also for decorative purposes. Mostly unfinished and neglected, this became storage and a recurrent theme in Victorian literature. It was a place of horror and mystery, of confinement. And strangely enough, of imagination unfettered, and a suspension of societal roles and restrictions.

The iconic madwoman in the attic haunts us through several works. Her confinement serves multiple purposes, from misguided but heartfelt care to protection of and from her, or simply to hide the shameful truth. Although there were well meaning institutions for the treatment of the mentally ill, the fresh air and personalized care soon gave way to overpopulated sanatoriums, restrains and neglect. The sad reality is that even with all the advances in psychology and psychiatry, there is still a stigma attached to mental illness, and we must bring awareness to the fact that mental healthcare is just as important and basic and normal as physical healthcare.

Off my soapbox now and on to the second part of the term madwoman. A woman in those times had very few liberties, and had to sublimate all her self worth and creative impulse to house management. Very few female authors could make a living writing, most published under a nom de plume. Painters, sculptors, composers, scientists, all those minds, tethered, repressed, lost. A woman had to be controlled, docile, and charming. What Virginia Woolf names Angel of the House before she kills her in self defense. 

In the attic, the unfinished, mostly decorative part of the house, the madwoman cannot but give into imagination (The Yellow Wallpaper) or become the dark goddess (like Bertha in Jane Eyre), embracing the destructive power and bringing Thornfield down in flames around her as she attempts to fly to freedom. And then? Where do women go when the attic is in ruins?

In 1928, A Room of One’s Own was published. In this essay, Virginia Woolf asserts that “a woman must have money and a room of one’s own if she is to write fiction”. This was a time of rapid change in Great Britain, when universities were opening their doors to women and the suffrage movement was growing. Graduates were looking for a place of their own, lives of their own, breaking with tradition and forming new patterns. And so, the lucky ones found a space of their own, decorated it as best they could, made it theirs, and then created in it. 

Virginia Woolf found one such space in Mecklenburgh Square, where she wrote her last novel. In this same square, Dorothy Sayers wrote her first mystery novel, Whose Body? And eventually became one of the Queens of Crime, along with Agatha Christie, Margery Allingham and Ngiao Marsh. She gave her main character, Lord Peter Wimsey, all the things she wished she had. But while she did not have the cars, wines, book collection and extra efficient and ever loyal butler Bunter, she did have a small apartment of her own and someone to clean and do laundry as these were services included with the rent., This gave her the physical and mental space needed to write. 

In episode 44 of Shedunnit, Caroline Crampton concludes:

“Decades on, it’s still pretty much the case that you need financial security and the mental freedom to ignore the rest of the world in order to write. The only difference is that now I think we’re talking more about who has access to those things and who doesn’t, and why. Crime writing is no exception to this. As Woolf put it, who gets to have “the habit of freedom and the courage to write exactly what we think”? It isn’t everybody, yet.”

You must have noticed that I have been talking about a small sector of the population. Matthew Barbee, in his 2004 unpublished thesis proposal titled From the Attic to a Room of One’s Own: Architecture as Metaphor in the Evolution of Women and Their Literature in the Nineteenth Century, says:

“To have space is to be free; to be free is to be human; and to be human is to realize that women are an equal part of that humanity as well as that oh so male, white, illustrious, and illusive literary canon.” 

This last phrase must include us all, regardless of gender, race, and all other considerations. If it doesn’t, that means we are still leaving people in the attic, Minds, hearts, and souls. Nowadays, scarcity is created by the few who hoard most of the resources, and the American vote is being ever more restricted, despite finally having progress in the presidency. Trans and BIPOC lives, reproductive rights and women’s health are endangered by legislation passed by regressive politicians. Our First Nation sisters are still disappearing without consequence. We all need the space to be free, to be human, to be an equal part of humanity. Bertha Mason was in that attic for ten years before she brought the house down. How long have you been in the attic?

Well, that soapbox slid right back under my feet, didn’t it? Next episode, nothing but ghosts and woowoo. At least, that’s the plan.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US. This year has been hard for everyone, but please remember you are not alone. I personally know how dark it can get, and how difficult it is to believe anything will get better, But it always does, somehow. And there is always help. If things are bad, please reach for help before making any permanent decisions. 

In the US, the number to call is 1-800-273 8255

In Canada, the number is 133 456 4566

In the UK you can call 116 123 or text  shout to 85258

In Australia 13 11 14

Remember that your brain lies, and believe me when I say you matter. 

Thank you Brennan and Paul from Ghost Story Guys for bringing awareness of these resources. If you want to listen to a fantastic podcast about the supernatural with an irrepressible sense of humor, you can’t miss this one. They are gifted storytellers and the show has only gotten better and better.

Shedunnit is a storytelling podcast that unravels the mysteries behind classic detective stories. Caroline Crampton, with a wonderfully atmospheric use of narration and music, provides a thorough understanding of the mystery writers of the Golden Age, their lives, works, and the cases that inspired them.

Mathew Barbee is a University Professor in Japan, a musical theatre aficionado, and a talented travel photographer.

The music in this episode was composed by Juan Sanchez. “Juan Sánchez – Tolworth” is under a Creative Commons (CC-BY 3.0) license. Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://bit.ly/bkc-tolworth

Lastly, this podcast would not be possible without the support and encouragement from my partners, Erin and Paul. To listen to their own creative endeavors, please visit OpenBetaMusic.com or follow Open Beta Music on Facebook. If you like Celtic, folk, and geeky music, this is a band you will certainly enjoy. 

Sound Engineering by Paul Schmidt.

Transcripts for this and all episodes can be found at atticwhisper.com. Links to the books, podcasts, and videos mentioned will be included in the episode notes.

Thank you for listening.

Trailer

Transcript

“There’s stories and then there’s stories. …The ones with any worth change your life forever, perhaps only in a small way, but once you’ve heard them, they are forever a part of you. You nurture them and pass them on and the giving only makes you feel better.”

Charles De Lint

Welcome to Attic Whisper.

In the beginning, there were stories. Stories helped us understand the world we live in and our place within it. From creation stories and folk tales to faerie tales and urban legends, storytelling is at once a teaching tool, guide, entertainment, and warning.

As we wrap ourselves in these stories, we change our own. Stories can save us, inspire us, change our path, or haunt us. Through it all, with every step and decision, we write our own story. Not only that, but as we are busy creating it, we become part of other’s stories; a part we have no control over. You are that one song that changed a person’s night, the smile that distracted dark ruminations, or the hand that took the last donut. Our mere presence changes this tapestry of stories in ways unforeseen, carrying the narrative ever forward. Before, throughout, and after our lives, we are stories. May our stories be told with loving voices and raised glasses.

In their transformative power, stories are medicine. Comfort medicine, like chamomile tea; distracting us and filling us with warmth. Beauty medicine, like music and dance, inspiring us and fueling our creative urge.. And then there is the medicine that lances the wound, purges the toxins. Unpleasant, needful medicine that drops us deep into shadow work, until we become feral in our power and emerge ready to create.

I, dear listener, am Djuna Blackthorne, the jackdaw in this attic, collecting stories and storytellers to share with you. From insights in the writing of golden age mysteries to historical fallacies, or sparkling moments in the creation of musical magic. Ghost stories or strange hauntings? The evolution of words? What kind of medicine do you need today? Come browse my collection of yarns, I hope you find what you need.

The excerpt read at the start of the Episode is from Dreams Underfoot, by Charles de Lint. This book saved my life. You can find Charles de Lint at CharlesdeLint.com

“Juan Sánchez – Luz de Luna” is under an Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0) license

Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://youtu.be/h7fSbXEadzI

Transcripts for this and all episodes can be found at atticwhisper.com. Links to the books, podcasts, and videos mentioned will also be included in the episode notes.

Thank you for listening.

Episode 0

Ghosts of Pre-Pandemic Past

Transcript

Disclaimer:

This is not the first episode. The first episode is still being crafted and tweaked. No, this is the episode that burst into the attic in a white sheet, rattling chains and wailing in a most unseemly manner. No standing in line, no careful crafting, not even waiting for the website to be ready. So, for my own peace of mind, I am releasing this episode early, may the Goddess protect my weary soul.

Welcome to Attic Whisper. I am Djuna Blackth.. No, I’m sorry. I’m afraid this is not going to be the best of introductions. If you have ever been haunted, you know how distracting it can be. Even worse, I am not even being haunted by a presence, ghost or spirit. No playful poltergeist or mysterious hat man. I am haunted by a concept, and that concept is Hauntology.

Hauntology is a pun that became a term, and as such it is tenuously defined. It has been used to point out retro esthetics constantly returning, retrofuturism, and the iron grip of old social forms, among other things. The interpretation that stuck with me in relation to Hauntology is that we are haunted by our past, unable to let go of it because it contains the broken promise of a lost future. As we cradle the glittering shards of this lost future, we cannot reach for any other future.

Let’s walk away from that dreary image for now and talk about The Queen Mary. I was listening to Episode 17 of Euphomet, titled The Grey Ghost, where Jim Perry boards the legendary cruise ship and talks with illusionist and apparitionist Aiden Sinclair. Aiden, with respect and empathy, “uses illusion to manifest the past and more importantly, our connection to it.” This episode, like all Euphomet episodes, draws you in and gives you an intimate look at the environment, the person being interviewed, and the topic, in a way that resonates with places in the listener that were long forgotten or hiding in plain sight.

In this Episode, Aiden talks about how most tourists that board the Queen Mary today have the multiple tragedies that happened, or are supposed to have happened, present in their minds, and so they are uneasy and susceptible to any traces of suffering that will further this story. They forget the Queen Mary also had joy, families reunited, glamorous cruise days and nights. As Aiden says, the residual haunting can be created just through happiness as much as anything else. Maybe some of the ghosts of the Queen Mary are there because they were happy there. That is a much better story than the trite murder, suicide, and violent death.

You might have noticed I did not really define what Hauntolgy means. Jacques Derrida combined Haunting and Ontology (the study of being). So, if to be is to be haunted, as Derrida implied, can we choose what we are haunted by? How we are haunted? I’m not saying we forget the past and all its lessons, that is always a mistake. Our human experience is intrinsically varied and while negativity bias pulls our eyes to the dark, we can choose what we give our attention to, what we highlight in our story. Perhaps if the past that haunts us is one of laughter and love, we can finally grieve that lost future and create a new one. Ghosts and all.

This episode is being written as vaccination for the Covid 19 virus is underway. After a year where the promise of the future was firmly shattered, we are to gather our ghosts and try to build a new future. The past, well it was rather scary, to be honest, so I sincerely hope things do not go back to normal. I hope we go forth to normal, a normal of safety, health, and equality. There is a lot of work ahead of us, and we are already weary. But I am haunted by the smiles of strangers lost in thought, music, dance, and the sense of community. I am haunted by many sparkling things that wait for me. I am haunted by a bittersweet joyful past and a hopeful future worth fighting for, where every step forward is a victory. I hope to see you there. For now, gather your ghosts, and look for the cracks. That’s how the light gets in.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Attic Whisper. This podcast was inspired by many storytellers and creators that I encourage you to listen:

Euphomet is a documentary podcast about the unknown and our relationship to it, featuring real people sharing astonishing paranormal experiences. I cannot recommend this podcast highly enough.

For an in-depth look at Negativity Bias and how to deal with it, you can listen to Wait! It’s Not What You’re Thinking, Episode 2. This is a Spanish-speaking podcast with Psychologist super duo Elizabeth Pena and Gustavo Zazueta, also known as Eli and Zazu. Full disclosure, Zazu is my younger and far more intelligent brother.

Lastly, this podcast would not be possible without the support and encouragement from my partners, Erin and Paul. To listen to their own creative endeavors, please visit OpenBetaMusic.com or follow Open Beta Music on Facebook. If you like Celtic, folk, and geeky music, this is a band you will certainly enjoy.

The music in this episode was composed by Juan Sanchez. Juan Sánchez – For When It Rains” is under a Creative Commons (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0) license. Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://bit.ly/bkc-it-rains

Transcripts for this and all episodes can be found at atticwhisper.com. Links to the books, podcasts, and videos mentioned will also be included in the episode notes.

Sound Engineering by Paul Schmidt. Website Assistance by Erin Lewis.

Thank you for listening.